


To Take Everything Away

by lissaann



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dark, Graphic M/M Sex, M/M, Violence, sex with strangers for money
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-02-01 21:54:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12713688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lissaann/pseuds/lissaann
Summary: This was one of my rounds_of_kink prompts that I signed up for an amnesty round. This prompt had been claimed, but no story was ever published as far as I could tell. This is an older story; I don't remember when I first posted it.Prompt: Dean wants to taste death. Kink: asphyxiation





	To Take Everything Away

**Author's Note:**

> This was one of my rounds_of_kink prompts that I signed up for an amnesty round. This prompt had been claimed, but no story was ever published as far as I could tell. This is an older story; I don't remember when I first posted it.
> 
> Prompt: Dean wants to taste death. Kink: asphyxiation

**Disclaimer:** Sam and Dean are fictional. So this can't be real, right?  
**A/N and Warnings:** graphic m/m sex, violence, sex with strangers for money, dark

Un-beta'd.

==========

The end of Dean's year was coming fast. Dean was beginning to become more restless, more reckless, and more ready to take on anything. It began to scare Sam.

Sam never knew, until they had started to be with each other that Dean was so submissive and so masochistic. Dean would ask Sam to hurt him, to pinch and twist and slap and punch. Sam was hesitant; this was _Dean_ after all.

Sam was torn between giving Dean everything he ever begged for or hurting him, even though that was what he wanted. Especially now, with so little time left.

They were outside of Joliet; hunting a Shtriga they had caught wind of. It was always hard watching kids suffer, and despite his well-built barriers, it was obvious that Dean was affected strongly and even appeared vulnerable while hunting these creatures.

It seemed that the more a hunt takes out of Dean, the harder he wants the sex. He tells Sam it's because it makes him feel alive. In the end, Sam couldn't deny Dean anything. So he did what Dean asked.

Once they had finally found and killed the Shtriga, Dean practically dragged Sam back to the motel, pushing him up against the wall. He attacked Sam's mouth, sucking and biting at his lips, wanting to fuse their bodies together as close as they could.

Sam knew that Dean would beg to be hurt. It had been that kind of hunt. Dean still blamed himself for what happened when they were children, when Dean almost let a Shtriga kill Sam.

"Sammy, please. Please I need you so much," Dean begged as he stripped and lay down on the bed. "I need you…I have something new to ask. Sam, I want this." He looked deeply into Sam's eyes. "Sam, choke me as hard as you can."

"No! Are you insane?" Sam screamed. "I'll do a lot for you, Dean. I'll do almost anything. But I can't do that. You'll die!"

"I know you won't let that happen, Sammy. I trust you."

"I can't do it, Dean." Sam began to get upset, tears glistening in his eyes. "How can you ask me that?"

"Sam, you are the only person alive that I would ever ask this of. You are the only person I trust enough. I need this, Sam." He threaded his fingers through Sam's hair and locked his gaze to Sam's eyes. "Please, Sammy. I'm begging you."

Sam pulled his head back. "No. No!" He stood up. "I think we need to both just…cool off a little bit. I think maybe I need to get out and go for a walk." He turned towards the door, then turned back around. "This is really fucking twisted, man. And there's a lot about this that is pretty fucking twisted to begin with." Sam had been opening the door while he was talking, and pulled the door closed as he finished his statement.

Dean immediately rose and went to follow Sam. He knew it would do no good, though. He waited a few minutes, to make sure that Sam was out of the area, then got into the Impala and headed downtown.

Joliet wasn't LA or New York City by any stretch of the imagination, however, when you looked hard enough, you could find what you needed.

Dean walked into a bar on the seedier side of town. He downed a couple of shots in rapid succession. A couple of the women had their eye on him, but tonight he wasn't interested in what they might have to offer. No, he had a specific plan in mind tonight.

Despite telling Sam earlier that Sam was the only one he trusted, Dean's longing, want, desire, _need_ was too strong. If he couldn't get what he needed from Sam, then he would get it somewhere else.

He scouted the bar to see if anyone fit the bill. In the back, almost unable to be seen because of the smoky haze of the air, it looked like he might be able to get what he was looking for.

He sidled up to the large, muscular man, offering a shot with a beer chaser and a slight nod of the head. The man looked at Dean closely, then nodded his head back.

Dean didn't ask his name, nor did the stranger ask him his name. That was just fine, exactly what he wanted. After a few more shots, the man agreed to join Dean to return to the motel.

When the two arrived at the motel, Sam still hadn't returned. There was no pretense, no foreplay. Dean had told the man what his request was. They both stripped and Dean lay down on the bed.

"You sure about this?" the stranger asked.

Dean nodded, reached his hand down and began to stroke the other man's cock. Once the man was hard, Dean handed over the lube. The man slicked up two fingers, working Dean open, then spread lube over his cock and roughly entered Dean.

Dean grunted as the man started to thrust into him. Once the thrusting was steady, the man took the belt that had been around his pants, put one side over Dean's throat then pulled the belt tight. Holding the belt in one hand, he manhandled Dean's cock. Dean's groans were choked off as he began to have trouble breathing. Harder and harder came the thrusts, the man's hands and harder the belt was pulled.

Suddenly, the man's hips shuddered and jerked, coming deep inside Dean. Dean gasped as his orgasm swelled over him, Sammy's name on his lips. The belt pulled as tightly as it could, and just as Dean's orgasm was over, he fell into unconsciousness, breathing raspy.

As the man pulled out from Dean's body, the door to the room slammed open. Sam barely took the time to see what was going on before he was on top of the stranger, punching as hard as he could, seeing Dean lying prone on the bed.

The man tried to put his hands up to block Sam's punches. "It was all his idea!"

Sam stopped briefly. "You sick fuck! How can you do that to someone…anyone, whether you know them or not?!"

"He paid me good money to do it," he growled in a low voice.

Sam couldn't look at him anymore. "Get the fuck out of here, and be fucking grateful that I'm not calling the cops and having you arrested for attempted murder."

He needed no further persuasion. He grabbed his shirt and walked out of the door, leaving his belt.

Sam moved over to Dean and took the belt from his throat as quickly as he could. He opened Dean's mouth to clear his airway and listened for Dean to breathe. After about a minute, which felt like a lifetime to Sam, Dean took a weak breath. Ten heartbeats later, there was another. The breaths started to become more regular. "Dean," he said right next to Dean's ear. "Dean, wake the fuck up. Open your fucking eyes. Open them now." Sam's tone was threatening, but tinged with panic. He slapped Dean a couple of times. "C'mon. Fuck, Dean, wake up, goddamn it. Don't do this to me."

In a flash of movement, Dean's hands came up to his throat, his eyes flew open and he sat up bolt straight on the bed. His eyes scanned the room, panicked until they fell on Sam. "Sammy," he said hoarsely.

Sam stood up and crossed the room, his hands balled into fists, turning white because of how tightly he was holding them. "Dean, what the fuck…," he started. "What the…the hell…the fuck were you thinking?" Sam screamed, unable to hold his anger and fear that Dean had died inside.

Dean didn't meet Sam's eyes. He knew he wouldn't be able to explain this to Sam and didn't bother to try. "I told you I needed this."

"You also told me that you didn't trust anyone but me to do it."

"Well, you weren't going to, were you?"

"Of course not!" The volume of Sam's voice rose. "I don't believe you!" He turned his back to Dean. "I am doing fucking everything I can to get you out of this, out of your deal, out of you DYING! And you're just blocking me at every turn! Either you don't want me to look or you don't want me to ask and now! Now, you're just going after death itself, everything else be damned!"

Dean could hear the hiccups Sam was trying to hold back as he knew the tears were pouring out of Sam's eyes.

After a few long moments, Sam's began to speak softly. "I can't do this, Dean. I can't do it anymore. I can't convince you to stop trying to kill yourself and I can't sit here and do nothing and I can't watch you like this. I have to do this. It's fucking hard. It'll be hard either way. But I've got to do this now, while I can." He grabbed his duffel and walked to the door. Without turning around, in a distant voice, he said, "Goodbye, Dean." He opened the door and left without another word.

And as Dean lay there, slowly realizing that the last person who meant anything to him was leaving his life, he wished death had taken him.


End file.
